The battle of choices

Remember those frustrated moments of your life when anger swells up in your chest, after hearing someone criticising your most favourite celebrity? This anger is actually the 'twin' of the one caused when someone criticises your work or tries to demotivate you. Our likes and dislikes possess an indestructible kowtow towards its master which is our 'ego'.  Therefore the ones who have similar tastes like ours are those whom we adore and we definitely pass on a dirty look to those who challenge our tastes. Even when the celebrity you admire is not related to you in any way! 

It takes a great amount of patience to accept other people's choices especially when your choices and theirs are poles apart. Choices bind people and they could create bridges as well. There are times when we tend to mould our choices just to 'fit in' and to gain desirable approval from our friends. Isn't it funny that we constantly want others to approve and adhere to our choices? If disapproval confronts you, you either respond to the person by saying, "there is no use explaining it to you" or you look critically at yourself, through the eyes of the person lending out disapproval.

In such situations when one looks critically at oneself, it implies that the other person successfully struck a bow to make his partner feel that something is wrong with him. But when the partner is smart enough to utter statements like "there is no use explaining it to you", the other one feels offended as it hurt his/ her ''ego".  Gosh! Is this what we are doing to ourselves and to others? 

What I strongly feel is that my choices don't define me. They are nothing but the thoughts created by the hands of experience which inevitably changes. So why take them so seriously? Why try to prove yourself so much in front of a person having a contradictory view, even when your choice could be the result of someone else's influence? So if that is the case, then is your choice really " yours"? Or is it just passed on to you just as culture is transmitted from generation to generation? 

Our likes and choices need not always be in tune with those of others. Rather it is beautiful to be unique and it is not that bad to be the black sheep of the family ;). But let's not be so engrossed with our own that we fail to understand those of others. After all, we are infinite beings. It's just the rigidity of thoughts that tries to nullify this magnificent quality.

The hide and seek

We only value the light if we have seen the darkness. There comes a phase in our lives when worry and doubts become our sole companions. They follow us like shadows and life seems to be so colourless and irksome. You feel as if your journey has come to a standstill and there is no vision of a road ahead. That's the time where one feels drained out of ideas and definitely stressed out. 

If you are finding yourself in such kind of trouble, then it's time to reflect and not to overburden yourself. The first step is to accept that there is a problem. The problem maybe existing in your surrounding or sometimes it is created by yourself. We create problems for ourselves by worrying unnecessarily about certain matters. I have experienced this to the fullest and it's a terrible feeling when the first emotion that emerges after waking up in the morning is anxiety. 

If your problem is internal in nature created through excess of anxiety, then the time has come to do little interrogation with yourself. Whether it's the fear of drowning as you learn to swim or the fear of failing in a particular task, just ask yourself one simple question: will my journey end if my worst fear becomes successful enough in shaping itself as a reality? What would be the most possible harm it could inflict upon me? Asking oneself such questions would be a boon in curbing anxiety to some extent.

Problems devised by ourselves could be controlled by handling our thoughts with a new perspective. But there are certain issues which seem to go out of control and so a belief that 'this may also pass' lends you with an assurance of a better future. We only value the light if we have seen the darkness. Lessons are learned and tactics are imbibed during these dark times. If we follow them, we will find the light which enjoys playing hide and seek with us. Hence such phases hold their own significant position in our journeys, as we march towards our dreams and destinies.

The ghost

We seldom realise about the ghost we rear within our minds. Without our knowledge, it influences us, snatches away all our happiness and most importantly threatens our life's guardian which is confidence. This influential process is slow, frequent and very deep. The very reason of that catastrophic voice being frequent in nature makes it an integral part of life and as it then seems inseparable, we bow down to the irksome power of the ghost.

You maybe wondering who is this ghost. To get your answer, recollect the times wherein you felt that you are absolutely incapable of doing your tasks. The interest and passion which are the prerequisites to catch a glimpse of the glowing success suddenly seems to go off balance and you find yourself lying on the bed and weeping. Are you to be blamed for this? No, of course not. The one to be blamed is none other but the ghost who at the first place made you feel that you are utterly impassionate towards your job.

We accept it as in a way we listen to whatever it says. The word 'quit' starts ringing in our ears which reflects lack of confidence and all we wish to do is distance ourselves from others and get ourselves buried under the realm of fear of failure. That is why we wish to quit. It makes one think that the problems would disappear and one would free oneself from the burden of responsibilities. But can escape through a narrow pathway be considered as a solution?

That narrow pathway could give us a temporary sense of relief but it would lead us to a place of regret and miseries. So what have we actually achieved? We took a decision of escapism in misery which again landed us in a deeper well of misery. All because we permitted the ghost to linger in our minds. Does it carry any worth? How could there be any as there is only pain and no effort?

Many a times its we who create problems for ourselves. If we created the lock, we could also design the key suitable for it. We all know that it is complex at times. But all we could do is rise. Rise with belief. Belief held strong to the core of your heart could diminish the dominance of the ghost. If analysed through the lens of the positive perspective, the ghost was born just to test you and me. Passing this test would help us to pass in the ones produced by the other walks of life.

Comprehending the mammoth task!

Being in the present moment is a mammoth task. Each one of us knows the beauty of this moment when our minds retire from the job of being a circumnavigator of illusions. People have quoted very beautifully the benefits of living in the present but how to practice it is still a mystery to some extent.

Right now I am sitting in the ladies compartment of a Mumbai Local. My bag is placed comfortably on my lap and the ladies sitting beside me are engaged in a humorous conversation. Thin strands of hair are flying over my face and as I looked up, I saw a policeman in guard standing right in front of me. There is a itchy feeling on the back of my neck and I am even feeling thirsty. There is complete darkness outside the window and I am not able to give a complete description of the station that I left behind.

The things I mentioned in the second paragraph constituted my present moment. They are the observations that circle the moment 'now'. But as I was typing my observations, my mind tried its best to make me travel in a train which moves back and forth. It implies that the past thoughts and even thoughts about future (we are so creative!) launched themselves to divert my attention. The best way to put it up is like this: we are torn between past and future.

It's so damn frustrating, isn't it? But what can we do about it? Try to control our minds? But 'control' is such an authoritative term. Why not hear them out? I am sure that in everyone's life there is one or more than one individual who is quite irritating. What most of us do is we ignore them but what would you do if you have to tolerate that individual for half an hour due to some reasons? Best solution: keep your calm and hear what they say. Hear don't listen. So when your mind starts chattering something pleasant or unpleasant, just hear what it's saying. Listening can again make you ponder over your thoughts.

These are my views about how to be in the present. It would be fun to know your perspectives as well. Please do share your views in the comment box.

The feeling of liberation

We, who term ourselves as 'civilised' homo sapiens, have created innumerable divisions in the society for our own convenience. Once a division is made, we decide over which one of them is superior to the rest. The superior one enjoys prestige and respect whereas those who are inferior suffer 'imposed diseases' of the society. Then comes the time when the inferior empower themselves for a mass revolution. After a continuous span of bloodshed and traumatised cries, someone rises to power and the new 'hero' promises to establish peace. 

So where is peace? 

Did you ever feel that the attitude of electing someone as your leader itself is divisional by nature? Again someone is loitering above you, only this time you have the notion that the leader will be working day and night to establish peace. 

On one side we believe that God resides in every living being while on other side we idolise any human being as a 'God' and are ready to follow his footsteps blindly to proudly declare ourselves as his true followers. 

Seriously! What's wrong with us?

Let's have a look at another perplex division. Read this incomplete sentence carefully: 

The man has evolved.......

We have come across such kind of wordings a lot. But why wasn't it ever put up as:

The woman has evolved.....

Well the perplex division doesn't end here. Statements like 'boys are insensitive', 'girls are smarter', 'men shouldn't cry because they are not females' and many such brilliantly crafted statements are passed on from generations to generations as an entire package of tradition. Here we are learning about empathy in our varied curriculums and on the other hand chatting endlessly with friends where such kinds of utterances are happily encouraged. 

But here my focus doesn't rest on the types of divisions. We all know about them and they are even passionately criticised. But then why do disparities still occur? Because one often ignores to have a look at its cause, the one powerful enough to create distinctions like mine and thine. It's our own thoughts. 

Thoughts give birth to concepts and the concepts open the gates for divisions. When the oppressed wants to revolt, his/her thoughts shape concepts which are favourable for him/her and those give rise to further divisions. The same applies to those who are already termed as superior in terms of power and prestige. So what I feel is that there is no conflict between inferior and superior. Instead there is a conflict between two perspectives whose outer coating seems different but the inner structure is completely the same! 

According to me, liberation doesn't take place when a situation one wishes to escape from finally withers away. It happens the moment when you are not the prisoner of your own thoughts. Can we try to observe our thoughts without being involved in it? Involvement creates biases. And when we are not biased, we tend to observe the beautiful chaos all around us.

The mind-bath

I have joyously attended the three days of my second week at the degree college. There has been a great revolution in my schedule and transforming into an 'early bird' has been the main cause for this change. I was glad to join my friends in a B.A course who have witnessed with me the glorious experience of junior college. So in short, there has been no difference in my ambience and I haven't made huge amount of new friends. But I would love to type down the change which has paved the way for personal renaissance. 

Change in my own School of Thought. 

It implies my very own perceptions about picturing my role in my college. Each one of us is gifted a role which depends on the ambience in one lives. It is very essential to recognise one's role in depth. What's the big deal? you might think. I know my role! This feeling is true. But why do we sometimes face confusion? Why do we find ourselves facing two different paths?

Here the '' paths" doesn't constitute the career options or fields. It comprises of your decisions that could have a positive or negative impact on the image of your role and on those around you. So how can such confusion be erased completely and help you to gaze towards the right path? It's your own priorities that comes to your aide. It's always the time which makes you gradually realise which of the priorities should be in the top of your "to do list" and which must literally take a back seat. This is achievable only through patience and an increasing level of questioning the self. 

We all possess great imageries. Imagine that you got to pay a visit to your aunt. For doing so, you have to walk your way through the jungle. You are determined to accept this challenge because your aunt is very ill. You start walking and once you reach in the middle of the jungle, you see a beautiful bird, the one you have never seen before. Beauty and attractiveness starts to take a toll over your mind. They start talking to you: That's so lovely! I can click a picture of it and use it as a cover page for my company's magazine! My boss would appreciate me so much! 

What will you do now? Would you follow the bird to click a picture of it or would you just ignore it and move ahead, thinking that you have a greater responsibility ahead? Saying 'I will definitely do my duty!' is very easy to think after reading this. But you all are  carrying a baggage of your experiences. Pick out the one where you face a similar confusion and see whether the winner was a temporary stimulation or willpower. 

The change in my school of thought was the arrangement of my priorities, that has helped me to understand my role better. I let my development and my goals take the front seat and allowed the idea of impressing my friends take a nap on the back seat. To be very honest, this has made me fearless and has given me a great amount of freedom. 

As I sit among a bunch of many old friends and few new friends in the classroom of the familiar college I love, my thoughts have had the best bath in the long time!

The Sun and the Rain God

The flames of the sun were becoming more dangerous by every passing minute. It's anger was uncontrollable and beneath the anger there was pride whose glow was becoming stronger and brighter. The God of the Rain was observing the mixed emotions of the Sun from a distance. He realised that the huge ball of fire was up to something, something that could pamper his ego and make that emotion laugh.

" I know that you are still angry with the people " the Rain God said. His voice was firm and slightly amiable.

"Of course I am" the Sun looked at him with disdain. "And you very well know the reason"

'Don't show him you are upset with him. He would use your feeling of dislike to put you down to his level' a voice warned the Rain God.

" We both are like two sides of the same coin. Just as warmth and sunshine are essential for survival, the rain is equally essential for new births. Don't you agree with this?"

The Sun faked a laugh. It was cold and full of bitterness. "Well no my soulmate. How can we be two sides of the same coin when my other name has been kept as 'global warming'?

" That's not your fault" the Rain God said with sympathy. "You are still important for the humans. If you wouldn't exist, Earth will die"

"Oh really?" The Sun looked incredulously in the direction of the Rain God. "If I am so important, why have people stopped worshipping me? Why do they consider my heat as a menace? Why do they pray for your arrival beneath the super cool ACS in their rooms that has been destroying my kingdom?"

It dawned on the Rain God that talking to the Sun was indeed a foolish idea. His dark mood was developing like a hide tide
and soon it may wipe out even the Rain God's existence. He decided to come to the main point of discussion that he had carefully analysed.

" I could sense that you are up to something. Is it about avenging your dismay?" The Rain God very well knew that something very bad is about to happen. But what is the harm in knowing? He could try to stop it.....

If the Sun had a human face, he would have smirked.

"My clever soul mate" his voice distracted the Rain God from listening to his thoughts. "Your guess is absolutely true. Do you remember the Northwest clouds?"

A dreadful memory filled the Rain God's mind with anxiety and anger. He had a hatred towards the Northwest clouds as they were always in a hurry to become a part of the ocean. His fear followed a question that was loud enough in his mind, it must have even reached the ears of the Sun.

Have the Northwest clouds become so desperate that they have made a pact with the Sun?

"Are you there?" The Sun asked loudly.

"Yeah" the Rain God's reply was weak.

"So" the Sun continued in his best strategy voice, "I made a pact with your fellow mates. They have agreed that they would bless the innocent humans with floods, heavy rainfall and the other nasty rainy stuff. As a return gift, I would make their wish come true"

The Sun chuckled as if he had won World War 3. But the Rain God's mind was about to explode soon.

'Stop those idiots!' said one part of his mind.

'No!' the other part roared. 'They are under the hot guy's control!'

'So what? You are the Rain God! It's time to unleash your powers!'

'I can't because the Northwest clouds are my huge enemies. They have powerful contacts. I can destroy them but it would lead to a large aerial water balloon fight! The humans would suffer more!'

'Leave the humans! Listen to me!'

The Rain God took a deep breath. He felt he was regaining his peace as he slowly breathed in and out. He would have to ignore the demons within him. But what can he do now?

I will guide you. Stay with me.

"Darkness cannot destroy darkness" the Rain God had a confident and an authoritarian voice. "You feel that the people have ignored you. So does this make you ignore their misery and sorrows?"

"Well when the rain would punish them severely" the Sun replied being equally confident, " they will pray to me. They will then know my importance!"

"Oh yes" the Rain God exclaimed, "they will be desperate to see you shine above them during the time of adversity. But what after that? After you dry up all the tears and 'nasty rainy stuff', considering yourself as a hero, they would beg for rain again when the heat would shoot up beyond convenience"

"No" the Sun's voice faltered a bit, "this can't be-"

"Of course things would turn in the way just as I said!" The Rain God interrupted happily because he knew he was on the winner's side, "but let me be clear with one thing. Is it your wish that the humans would pray to you daily just like the olden times?"

"Yeah" the Sun replied and then followed a sad sigh.

"Ha! I am afraid that you are living within a sweet yet an ignorant bubble of illusion.  Humans now pray for something only when they need it the most. Their minds work in this way: farther the thing, greater the urge to win it and vice versa. Sooner you accept it, better it would be for you"

"But" the Sun argued with a pinch of jealousy in his voice, "they still adore you"

"No way!" The Rain God exclaimed in shock. He then continued with some resentment, "once a jerk had written a nursery rhyme for me. Rain, rain go away, come again another day, little Johnny wants to play!"

"Oh that's weird" the Rain God could bet that the Sun was a bit relieved. "I feel that we both can take our revenge"

"Have you heard about karma?"

"Yup"

"Then I feel that neither of us should waste our energies in such stupid things"

The Sun was quite for a few seconds. He spoke, "I will tell the Northwest clouds to cause no harm. I will also fulfill their wish"

The Rain God was intrigued. "Why?"

"I don't want to put you in any trouble"

There was then complete silence between the two supreme forces of nature. The silence didn't emit any kind of negativity. Instead, there was a pleasant unspoken gratitude flowing between them.

A wake up call

Friendships have always been described in a romantic manner. According to me, "romantic words" are those which lifts you up from the real world and lands you in your dreamland. I now realised that all these years, I have been living unknowingly in my own dreamland. I was proud enough to feel that my dreamland contained all those thoughts which were born out of 'in depth thinking. This self made error later pushed me to question all my perceptions.

When I was in my 10th grade, I envied my friends who gained enough luck to be a part of large cool groups. I had noticed them hanging out together at cinemas or enjoying a precious birthday bash. Their beautified and defect less selfies used to be all over my news feed and I always felt that they are cherishing the time of their lives. 

When I transformed into a junior college student, I finally got the opportunity to hang out with my friends. I mingled with all and never had a "permanent" group. But the feeling was something different and I guess I was happy. That's the way I felt friendships are meant to be. Cracking jokes, hanging out, clicking selfies, having a discussion over your favourite music and authors and hugging each other with excitement at the time of meetings.

When I used to receive 'friends forever' message from my friends, my heart used to blossom with gratitude. It was as if I had a tour of my unpredictable future. But this was my past. My present has befriended a new neighbour who has shown me a new path, a path that holds a unique description about friendships. 

This path made my acquaintance with an old yet powerful concept, the one which always took a backseat during my experiences with friends. 

Honesty.

To be very honest, my friendships have never been completely transparent. Lies were always hanging above and yet neither me nor my friends fully acknowledged it's presence. We design images where ' I will always be with you' would be shining in the middle of the image, with smiling faces looking at you from the background. But just as a tree cannot grow without it's roots, how can togetherness grow without honesty?

Our minds function more or less in a similar direction. I hide something from you and if you lack the emotional strength, you will do the same with me, keeping in mind the idea of 'tit for tat'. This is how the world revolves. But this can't be absolutely true because there are certain exceptions. 

When my new neighbour befriended me and helped me to overcome the blame that I received through lack of honesty, I had asked myself a question and the same I would like to present below:

Can long hours of hangout be called worthy if there is an absence of an honest connection?

In my opinion, there is no worthiness behind it.

So who is right???

The write-up below is a typical situation that happens everywhere.....

Sarah and Kriti had a nasty argument.  They both felt that the other is wrong which stretched the argument for 15 minutes. But who was right and who was wrong? To know that, let's have a look at the thoughts which are creating speedy judgements in both of their minds. 

Sarah's thoughts:

Kriti was about to gift me a bracelet! But she didn't keep her promise. She gifted it to some other friend of hers and I would never have known this truth if Priya hadn't told me the reality. Why did Kriti lie to me? Why did she give me false hopes? And when I went to make her realise that I am not a fool and expected that she may apologise to me, I received yet another shock. She started blaming me! But I know very well why she did that. That is because she is weak from inside and only weak people put the blame on others.

Kriti's thoughts:

Sarah is completely wrong on her part. Just because I didn't gift her the bracelet, she went for a trekking adventure with Priya while the actual plan was that I would accompany her for the trip! And she did this purposely just because I kept her in the dark?! How can she even think like that about her own best friend? She didn't even try to know the reason behind me gifting the bracelet to my classmate. All she wanted to do was to prove me wrong and make me apologise to her!  That's so cruel from her side. She is being mean and insensitive to my feelings! 

After reading this, many of you must have decided who is right and who is the one at fault. Well I don't wish to carry any judgements. I will just come up with a conclusion after analysing over this short observation:

Kriti never realised that her small lie would hurt Sarah's feelings very badly. Sarah on the other side committed the same mistake that Kriti did. She broke her own promise which made her act like Kriti, yet she was trying to make Kriti realise that her decision was unjust. 

Kriti felt sad because Sarah didn't try to know the reason behind not being gifted with the bracelet. If she really wanted Sarah to know the truth, then why didn't she confront her at the first place instead of putting blame on  her?

The conclusion that I came up with is simple:

Both were hurt and both were just thinking about themselves. 

The story of us

This is the story of me.

I am the still water. I am clean and pure. This stillness and clarity has allowed me to befriend the soul of the world. There is peace underneath me and the gift of this peace is creativity. I became an artist. I coloured the frogs green and the fishes yellow. As my creativity increased, the peace underneath gifted me with yet another beautiful quality and that is sensitivity. I made sure that all my creations have the necessary resources to stay alive. I was quite happy. Me and my creations were leading blissful lives. 

Slowly I turned out to be an interesting topic that was discussed by the humans. 

I felt proud of myself. All the humans feasted their eyes on my beauty and on my creations. I started becoming famous. They gave me a title. 'Messenger of God'. I was so pleased with myself. I was on cloud nine! 

The pride and happiness didn't let me foresee the hardships that I was about to face in the future. With the emergence of the new title, I became to be perceived as the 'wish pond'.  The people felt that through the medium of coins, they would be able to communicate their wishes to God as I was perceived to be his messenger. 

One, two and later thousands of them followed. The coins created ripples and they disturbed my clarity and stillness. Peace was slowly diminishing. I was losing contact with the soul of the world. My creations were becoming dim and an artist was drowning with the coins which replaced the dying peace underneath me. When I got burdened by the worldly wishes and expectations, I realised that I was no longer the still water. 

This is not the story of me. This is actually the story of us.

Golden lining of adversity

One becomes the creator of many dreams but fate showers on one it's favourites. Marriage has created its space into the big list of dreams. Trust and love form the pillars of this dream but some are unfortunate to watch those pillars crashing and falling down. The cause behind such a breakdown is betrayal. Yet the incidents of betrayal have conquered the news and emerged as powerful headlines to open the eyes of all, thanks to the victims who had enough courage to stand up and pull off the curtains which camouflaged the reality. 

The suffering of such victims cannot be captured by the flow of words. They are just heard and passed on but some do it with an inner flame of passion. This passion then slowly transforms into a massive support, bestowed by the chain of supporters. Those who are unknown to the story are compelled to fight for some reform and their determination sets up a platform for inspiration.

When these voices are heard by the heart who suffered, more strength starts pumping into the veins and then the heart is not a victim any longer. Now the 'rising soul' catches an opportunity to win back justice by filing cases in the court. 

But there are many whose stories didn't reach the desk of the journalists. Yet their decision to act fearlessly had no bounds. And this became only possible as they had the support of their families. 

Adversity that touches a person's life could be of any form. But sometimes an adversity could be advantageous. It makes one realise about the limitations which one surrenders to. As a guide it helps one open the door of paradise.

Beauty in the simple things!

We all dream to live a happy and a wonderful life. To convert that dream into a reality on which our eyes could feast on, we make up our minds to take up new challenges, we try to do tasks which are beyond our comfort levels and we also drive off all the shyness to build up new relationships. 

Each one of us sweats heavily to model our lives into perfect shapes. Each one of us wants to prove that the lives we lead are ideal and they definitely standout in comparison to others. But while you and me construct our personal ladders to reach the ultimate peak, we seldom ignore the surroundings where we have slept, ate and wept on the dreams which only existed in our hearts. 

The surrounding which I am talking about is my home. Your home. A place which is regarded as the best place in the entire world. It's the roof that wouldn't betray us because it was made strong and vigilant by the two angels who only care for our happiness. The home selflessly paid all the price for our happiness but have we thought for a while to discharge our price in a similar way? 

A house is made a home when two emotions knock on the door: love and care. If these emotions form the base of the ambience, there would then be a plentiful availability of peace. Peace of mind is one of the greatest wealth. This can be obtained when one finds beauty and contentment in the simple chores of the home, in a way strengthening the base of the ambience as help is provided. 

Work is worship. The worship becomes merry and joyful if the work is closely connected with our passion. By becoming rich and successful, we become capable of buying all the pleasures of the world. We would be happy enough to eat and live like a legend. But if we would try to invest some amount of pleasure into the simple chores of our lovely homes, you would be merrier to receive some more icing on the cake! 

But how can one invest pleasure into those simple chores marked on our daily routines which are considered boring after some time?  Well the answer is really simple:

No task or job is an ideal one. After all it's just a state of mind! ;)

The unexplored field

'Hurt' is unfathomable. Though it acts as a storm that could hit the city (life) anytime, it is something which makes us panicky, depressed and compels us to change our entire perspective about life. We all are afraid to get hurt. We are on cloud nine if things go in the way we want them to and when they don't agree with our dreams, we are badly hurt. Once we recover from the bitterness of gloomy days, we build a wall around ourselves that could prevent us from getting hurt in the near future. But however tall or strong the wall is, it is vulnerable in front of nature. 

Now the question that comes in is:

Why do we get hurt? 

The answer which I received by reading one philosophical book doesn't match with being 'dumped' or 'cheated'. It goes far beyond such common reasons. Each one of us has created a mental image about ourselves. This image is considered superior and perfect by the respective person who holds it. 

Now this is very simple. I feel that my opinions and views are much better than the person sitting next to me. This same notion can come to you and millions of humans living across the globe. This self-concept has created divisions among people for instance: 'I am a communist and you are a non-communist!' which has merged disharmony into the day to day activities of the people. 

Now just imagine the day on which you had a fight with your loved one. You and the other individual carry in the minds the imagined 'self-concepts' that makes the letter 'I' come into the picture. Now this 'I' is the ego. This small tiny alphabet can make you feel you are on the right track and the other on the opposite one, that pushes you to persuade the individual to behave in a way which is convenient to you. The other also possesses your same wish but it's content is altered as per his self-concept, making both of you feel hurt at the same time. 

The 'I' or 'me' has created a lot of limitations. It is happy when it meets people who are ready to walk on the path of it's own illusions and fantasies. But when the 'I' is criticised, it is hurt. Well it is indeed necessary to draw a line when the time comes to protect one's self-respect and dignity. But projecting your self-image as the 'perfect' one and nurturing expectations that others would behave in a way which is correct according to you, is also not a good idea. 

The thoughts that come to me could also come to you. If we started communicating by bearing this idea in our heads, won't we consider each other as equals? This could make our conversations more clear and open, discarding all the illusions that makes us feel that we know everything. It can also help in exploring the depths of pain and forbidding us to build up those walls that prevents us from leading a fearless life. 

I admire the quote of Mevlana Jelaluddin Rumi:

Outside, beyond what is right and wrong, there exists a vast field.

We will find each other there. 

Letter to the Demon

Dear Demon,

I very well know that you are alive within me. You and the Angel strike a perfect balance of existence within my mind, transforming me as every milestone of my life becomes a history. Just as I am thankful to the Angel for spreading happiness on my doormat, I am thankful to you for making me what I am today. 

People detest you. You are known for spreading negativity and tears of sorrow, which we all try to run away from. You are always behind me, waiting for the right moment to push me into the hollow well of depression.  This is one of my greatest fear. But it is this fear which has made me incapable of understanding you. 

When I am hurt due to some reason, my Angel makes me aware about your presence. I ignore you and you open the door of darkness for me. This has been happening since years and I always try to run away from you but to no avail. You are always there, waiting for the right moment. When I go through a period full of sufferings, I ask myself:

Why have I been bestowed by happiness if one day it is ought to be destroyed by the Demon? 

That is when my Angel replied to me:

There is no gain without pain.

After that incidence I began to question your arrival. Rather than getting afraid of you, I began to confront you with my new found strength. You gave the answers to my questions and opened another door for me where I found my mistakes committed in the past. I was astonished to see the amount of self-created problems by being under the influence of illusions and how I used to put the blame on others for not fulfilling my expectations which they never accepted from the bottom of their hearts. 

That is the time when I looked at you with utmost reverence and felt happy for having a companion like you. You are the one who puts my wisdom to test but in a very bitter style. But I am okay with it. This bitter personality of yours has given you a name but it lies on me whether I could see the light within the darkness. 

I now accept you whole-heartedly. Whenever you would approach me, I would welcome you as a divine creature and would love to have a small chat with you. I would accept without reluctance the changes which you would suggest to improve my situation. At the end of the discussion, I would open a door for you where you would accompany me into an experience of another milestone and I would hold your hand when I know it's time to confront another suffering. 

Mind is like a baby!

I remember my dad telling me one day:

"There is a hidden child within every adult".

We were actually discussing the behaviour of a 40+ villager and I had for some reason found her personality very childish. We all have a belief over a thought that greater the age of a person, higher would be his level of maturity. In some cases this age-old assumption does strike a bow. But what happens when you come across an individual who was successful enough to reduce the intensity of your belief? Would you just call him 'immature' and walk off or would you look more deep into the matter? 

If I were in your case, I would love to carry a little bit of investigation. Yesterday I was feeling a bit sad over a certain issue. My mind kept me restless and I was narrating a negative thought over and over in my head, like chanting a mantra. After some time I regained my inner peace by having a deep insight into the reason behind my sadness. That is the period when I discovered a new topic for my blog:

Human mind is like a small baby. 

Well I know it may sound absurd. But I feel that it may contain a tiny drop of reality. Just like a baby craves for happiness and cries loudly when he finds himself in a despicable situation, the same way we love to receive pleasure and hate to gain pain, either by complaining about it or avoiding it all together. This is very obvious and simple. Let me explain you with more examples. 

When I was leading my life in my native place, I saw a small girl of 5 years yearning to gain attention of a one year old baby. She called her many times, running around the woman who was carrying the small baby, desperate to play and have a quality time with the innocent child. However the baby didn't show much interest in that 5 year old girl. She grew angry and later that emotion paved the way for tears. 

How many times have you, as an adult, grew upset just because someone you like didn't bother to spread a smile? Or how many times have you become angry just because a friend who messages you the most, has suddenly stopped being in touch? It is an emotion that we experience millions of times as we all love to gain attention, praise and also an urge to get pampered. In some people the drive that accelerates this desire is very high and hence they are termed as 'attention seekers'. 

Is there any universal definition of maturity? What according to you is maturity? As per the idea which has been sent to me by an unknown force, it refers to a state wherein a human slowly learns to understand the behaviour of it's own mind. When one learns to differentiate among his thoughts and choose out those which can generate an ideal response as per the situation, then that person can be truly called as a matured person. 

Treat your mind as a small baby who loves to have a possession over toys. Now compare those toys with praise, power, money, success, attention and so forth, keeping in mind the things which you would dream to chase. Then just as a small child holds your finger and takes you to the market place to buy toys, your mind would take you to the real world to accomplish it's wishes. But be aware. If you don't stop the child and make him listen to you when it is needed, the child would go out of control, in turn making you exhaust all your energy in just running behind it. 

So one has to be extra careful. Just as a parent has to analyse his budget and provide the child with gifts he is capable of giving, one must listen to his soul for understanding his capability that would make him enjoy the fruits of his achievement. 

The day I became rich

The feeling of being rich transformed into a great amount of leisure within the deep corners of my heart. As I walked down the road whose edge was marked by the scenic beauty of magnificent hills, my happiness knew no bounds. The sun shined above the tall Eucalyptus trees but it wasn't that bright, hence I could witness the beauty of the blazing ball. The infants of a hen were frantically running in different directions and it seemed as if the nature provided them with an indescribable amount of energy.

I felt rich because I was relaxing within the arms of a non-polluted ambience. No noise could disturb the peaceful humming of the minds and the inner self got wholly immersed into the blessings of God. I could sense God everywhere and his presence made me forget about the misery, the misery that resulted from the separation with nature in my world. I rather thanked him for teaching me what my soul really wanted, who was always restless in seeking out varied things to gain pleasure. As a chameleon stood still on the trunk of a tree, my soul floated slightly higher above all the worldly sufferings. 

The eyes of the villagers gleamed with playfulness and innocence. One of them was having a quality time with a sheep and an old hindi song was being played in his house. The melodious tune matched perfectly with the vibrations of the surrounding, making one urge to dance amidst the greenery. The cows were standing in the sheds and the dog was looking straight into the farthest distance, maybe contemplating it's own thoughts. 

According to me, I was being surrounded by the richest people in the world. Those who hop onto luxurious items can understand this feeling of richness if they look deep underneath the ground of illusions created by us. It is just like bending yourself to catch a glimpse of pure water within the darkest corners of a well. I had got a golden opportunity to feast my eyes on lives which I could never control, nor can they fall into the category of 'human possession'. 

An individual was lucky enough to have a meeting with Gautama Buddha. He had a doubt in his mind and that he felt could be solved by the greatest thinker of all times. He asked Buddha:

"What's the difference between like and love?"

Buddha gave an answer to his question by adding a beautiful metaphor:

"Like is followed by a sense of selfishness. If you like a flower, you would pluck it for a temporary period of satisfaction and pleasure. But if you love a flower, you would make great efforts to water it everyday so that it can enjoy a comfortable life".

The nature teaches us the importance  of love, which truly upholds the value of sensitiveness and understanding. There is no feeling of possessiveness and hence all the creatures are able to live in harmony. That day as I became rich, I could clearly decipher the connection between love and peace. 

What is your identity?

One's identity emerges from the roots of his thoughts. Your name is nothing but a thought, that took shape in the minds of your creator and people identify you with that name. We feel that the thoughts which make us execute certain actions are unique. But that is not true. The thought which you entertained can degrade or beautify someone else's attitude as well. And when we come across individuals who uphold a sack of similar thoughts, communication escalates and the relationship is surrounded by a protective cloak of love and laughter. 

Identity has a very profound importance in the glamour world. Those celebrities whose stars had no faults emerged like legends and are applauded for having a huge number of fans around the world. Their names are heard, remembered and then told to others with a disapproving look who have no clue about a particular 'legend'. Those who had no clue then start a research project to find out more about the celebrity and if they are impressed, they become a member of the 'fan club'. Their views get strengthened in proportion with an increasing number of members which is also known as 'group polarisation'.

We all like to be identified with a certain group that provides us with an amount of security. It boosts our self-esteem and we are ready to follow the norms set by the group, in order to preserve our identification. We easily conform with the orders and there comes a time wherein we are forced to say yes even when our hearts say no. We then become human beings whose souls have long back converted into puppets. 

This is what exactly happens with the celebrities in the glamour world. They are as ordinary as the common public, whose innocent eyes wished to seek for fame and when they finally enter the world on which they dreamed days and nights to conquer, the same innocent eyes adjust themselves to the darkness deep within. It is then too late to turn back and their lives become like a script whose story is written by somebody else. 

The snapshots of the camera only reveal the smiling faces in expensive robes and the big trophies received during the most awaited events. But no one knows the truth behind the fairy-tale existence wherein an individual fell into the trap of enlarging his identity and later had no control over his own mind and body. Still after receiving all the fame and success, a celebrity or a star is haunted by one single question.

Was it really worth it?

Once the identity and the mind of a being becomes one, then the life turns out into a never ending race. Your mind would provide you with a list of ideas that could feed your ego and enlarge your identity. You would be always competing and would do activities which you would have never loved to do in your wildest dreams. But you still carry on with the task for your so called 'reputation'. From outside you have successfully managed to rise as a tycoon. But from inside you are already destroyed by the inner tycoon. 

If you look at yourself just as a speck of the entire universe, your ego would reduce to the size of a small building that you see though the window pane of an aeroplane. You would then be able to direct and regulate all your thoughts and dreams, not letting yourself be governed by them. This would make you your own master and then you would be capable to give a same reaction to both praise and criticism. 

What indicates the relation's strength?

To gain an insight into the future of your relationship, you must look deeply into the nature of your shared thoughts and feelings. This realisation has dawned upon me, making me question the diverse conversations that I had with many of my comrades.  Life is like a web of stimuli and which one to choose entirely depends upon us. By stimuli I actually mean the words that have an impact on our hearts which are passed on to us by our friends or relatives. 

If one knows his/her concerns well, one would carefully respond only to those stimuli that is important to him/her. In this way, an individual saves a great amount of energy. 

We come across so many people in our lives, some are the ones with whom our ideas match and others are those who practice a unique taste of attitudes. But we all carry inside us a common thirst, no matter to which religion or country you belong to. That thirst is nothing but the thirst of attention. All human beings love to gain attention, we have an urge to be noticed and heard. I feel that the thirst of attention cannot be vanquished completely. 

For instance you meet a particular person of your same age group and that is the time when the thirst starts popping up. You wear the attire of your best behaviour, try to make friends with that person by striking up a conversation. Then suddenly for some reason you two get separated. You then move on in your life and when you meet some other person, the thirst takes birth again and if the other person is good enough to provide you with maximum attention, you quickly forget about the person you met earlier. 

It is a common saying that 'you should be in touch with your old friends'. Friends are considered as a golden essence of life and there are many whose footprints have vanished on the doormats of our minds. They promise that they would stick with us till the end and such sayings soon vanish into thin air. It's then when we realise that such people always had a motive in their minds, once that gets accomplished, they move on to the next person to enjoy the aroma of another plate of wishes. 

So that's why I feel that it is necessary to listen attentively to what your friends say. Small words or even the body language can tell a lot, but the problem is we often take such small 'hints' for granted. We all have a tendency to talk to and listen to people very superficially. But yes there are handful of some who have learned to implement the skill of active listening. This makes them capable enough to understand the nature of the shared conversation, helping them to have a clarity about the future of their relationship. 

I love this particular quote:

'Big minds discuss ideas

Smaller minds discuss events

Smallest minds discuss about people'.

I feel that it is great to have those friends around you, with whom you can share ideas. Sharing and accepting the ideas nourishes a great deal of understanding, followed by likeness and respect. Gossiping is an art that could be imbibed by anybody. But those who have the courage to move beyond this and hunt for a wider horizon can truly be called your 'best friend'. 

The link between peace and a holiday trip

Satisfaction survives only for a short period of time. After the glorious completion of one task, we find ourselves chasing for another, that when not grasped well could lead to dissatisfaction and unrest. We seldom plant the idea of going out to a peaceful place, where the nature exhibits it's bounty and we could rest in peace, which unfortunately our hectic jobs doesn't offer us. We term this as a 'stress-buster' and when such a plan gets cancelled, it pushes one into a more stressful experience. Peace then becomes like a wild goose chase and at the end we find ourselves back to the square one. How weird is that! 

Going out for a holiday trip increases the triumph and enthusiasm within us. The tickets are booked, reservations in the lavish hotel are taken prior hand and the suitcases gets filled with a complete treasure of clothes, cosmetics and toiletries. Everything goes on very smoothly and the plans decided gets executed at a proper time. The members forget about all the anxieties and the work to be completed as soon as they are done with their small trip. When they finally reach home, they are fresh, relaxed and peace blossoms as a flower that encourages their concentration.

Some families do not experience the fortunate fate as mentioned above. When they reach the desired hotel, they realise that there has been some technical difficulties and they got to wait in the lobby for a certain period of time, no matter how much ever tired and sleepy they are. Some wait patiently while some get furious and quarrel with the receptionist about 'lack of planning and convenience', and the angry person's child looks at him/her with scared eyes. If the frustration persists, it has a direct effect on the plans made and at the end, the trip doesn't take up an enthralling route as it was expected to. 

In both the instances, the ideas for the trip are the same but the situations are different. Variation in the attitude towards the situation led either to happiness or sadness, even though the latter had a great expectation of acquiring 'peace' as they had landed themselves in a beautiful and exotic place. So if such terrible situations do occur, then is a holiday trip a great idea to be implemented to reach the path of ecstasy?

Peace is a feeling that I think anyone can acquire by trying to control the relentless flow of thoughts. A holiday trip to a posh place can help but after reaching there, if one lets the mind to drift towards the image where the colours depict the plentiful pending work or the relationships that could not be mended, then even a glimpse of Taj Mahal or La Tour Eiffel cannot make your heart leap in joy. Even the richest people in the world are devoid of a good-night sleep, even though their bodies rest on a king-sized bed. That is because their hearts are heavy with tensions and fears. There is not even a small room for peace. 

Learning to acquire peace is a very long process, embedded with patient and sincere efforts. Work and career must be given importance to achieve success, but also make some time to thank the Lord for blessing you with opportunities and things that you possess. Success, wealth and power are essential but try not to become their slaves. If that happens then the mind takes one into a great roller-coaster ride, where there would be no turning back and peace would then seem like a mirage. 

 

Do learn the skill of analysing your thoughts and always keep smiling! :)

The essence of adaptability

Four days have passed by. My existence has been confined within the areas of a small village, Chergunnu. It is located in Kerala and is given the title: 'my native place'. The lifestyle is quite diverse than that of a city, the flora and fauna possess their own unique beauty. The thoughts and ideas keep the urban thinking style at the bay. Here the hot climate overpowers the A.C, an invention that spreads comfort sadly has a minimal agreeableness.

As my stay is going to be extended for an entire month, I have to learn some ways to adapt myself to this new environment. As my mind has been conditioned to consider the City of Mumbai as the king of places, the devil roams in my heart to make my mood gloomy and dull. But I have accepted my challenge.

As the sweat makes my skin sticky an I watch a mongoose making love with it's mate, the angel within me has presented me with a list of my own limitations. They are the ones which make me crib for comfort and luxury, the ones which make me feel my city life like a dream. This and a few demolished bungalows where my father enjoyed his childhood, aroused a question: what is real in this world?

Maybe the present signifies the reality. All the things that one can see, hear, touch and smell is a part and parcel of a word named 'reality'. When they nurture the significance of the past, the real becomes a dream, which safely flies into the mansion of memories. We recollect them and the loss incurred gives birth to pain, which others can't feel because only the wearer knows where the shoe bites. 

If there are no memories that could haunt us with the immeasurable pain, would we be able to adapt to any situation? I guess it may work. I have been trying to accept my new place as my own home. Home is where the heart is and my heart is still alive, bravely working with my immunity system to keep me fit. I can conclude that the body can adapt to any change in the surrounding, but it's the mind that tends to make us stubborn and resistant to change. Alas! we got to live with it.

I am sure there might be many as me who are trying to adapt to new circumstances. All I can say is let your souls flow like a river which finally meets the sea, no matter however rigid and strong the boulders are. If you know your strength well, the boulders would be crushed underneath you!