Kudos to all the givers!:)

Do you halt for a second to reevaluate your response in the fear of hurting someone's sentiments? Are you the one who decides not to babble further just by sensing a deep tone of irritation in someone's voice? Do you often choose to step back from an argument as you quickly discover the fact that the other person is not understanding your point of view? Are you the one who is more expressive in a fight and not the one who acts as the source of all the blames?

If you nodded your head happily while reading all the questions, well then, you are a giver. Someone who pedals along with a great deal of empathy and who is calm and gentle. We nurture a great amount of tolerance within ourselves in comparison to the takers and therefore in times of chaos, we are the ones whom people always look up to. It is less likely and very rare that we end up giving up on the ones we love.

Though the givers have been bestowed with a personality makeup that helps them to endure more pain than the takers, in our societies, the takers are considered to be more strong. Those with the loudest voice and ruthless comments gain the largest applause while the ones with a serene outlook receive disapproved looks and inappropriate taunts. All these instances often distances the givers from a strong self esteem and confidence.

As running behind what the society considers as 'ideal' has been our staunchest motto, the givers often struggle to become like the takers. From being passive to aggressive, the whole notion of transforming themselves creates a painful crack that isolates them from their truest selves, making them more vulnerable to self destruction. The path chosen voluntarily by them gets flooded by the waves of unjust comparison that generally urges them to suffer within the four walls of self hate.

How often have you found yourself in such a similar state of helplessness? Do you feel it is fair enough to punish yourself in such an heinous way? Blending in effortlessly with people is our greatest strength and weakness. Because though this quality makes us very understanding, it often misleads us by making us feel that we harbour feelings for the other person, and very rarely makes us question whether the one on the receiving end truly loves us or not.

Therefore it's my humble request to all the givers to love yourselves unconditionally. Spit out all the worries of whether you will be caressed with love or not in the future. Because what goes around, eventually comes back around!

The gift of the open windows

The smell of first rain rekindles one's spirit with a unique kind of freshness, just like the one the clouds gift to nature. As I stand near the window, allowing my soul to have a walk with the cool air, I forget about the honking of the thoughts, all of them trying to grab my attention and energy. It's been few seconds since I stood there and yet the pleasant feeling it  brought to me lingers within me so powerfully, just like a warm pat on the back during the darkest hours. As I type this down I feel good and very much light. What a wonderful feeling it is to feel light. So rare and so different, a feeling that makes you neither too excited nor too downtrodden. It is somewhere in the middle, striking a perfect balance between the two frequently accessed emotions, making life seem simple yet challenging, but not letting the challenging aspect to take a upper hand all the while.

I feel blessed to feel this emotion again, after a very long separation. Separation can elevate the value of something, something which we could have taken for granted.

Oh! That's a sticky neighbour!;)

Over thinking. A tendency that allows the worries to boss over our lives.

It is something that is very common among all of us and no matter how much ever hard we try to bade farewell, we get stuck with it just like the mouse gets irrevocably stuck in a mouse trap. I think it is synonymous to a whirlpool. U can enter it quite easily but escapism seems like a dream.

What I have learned from my experiences is that mind never likes us to be free from unnecessary thoughts and feelings. When it sees that we are enjoying our lives too much, being emotionally detached yet being sensitive and rational, it throws a situation at us which hits us hard on our faces and for some amount of time, we keep ourselves engrossed with the pain and confusion, not realising that it's a nasty trick that our minds play with us every time!

I generally go through this irritating episode during my vacation time. My mind nails it well as I get trapped easily and that's because 'empty mind is just like a devil's workshop'. So sometimes I find myself lambasting at my own self while other times I cuddle self-pity as my favourite soft toy. There maybe others who over think about their job, love life or social life. In either way, it sucks! Isn't it?

So how to get over it? Just tell yourself 'my life is under my control and I need not worry about all the stuff!' U can even take few deep breaths as a follow up. But do you know what's the best solution? Face the situation that worries you the most. In reality, it may not appear as bad as it seemed and even if it does, still face it. The aftermath realization that you have the courage to face any challenge could reduce the probability of you over thinking in the future.

Life must be all about surprising yourself. Taking one step towards fear means letting go off the resistance, which, is the strongest tool of over thinking. Things may not turn out well at the first instance but who said it has to?

Next time when you start over thinking, imagine yourself as sand and those autocratic fingers as your mind. You may think that you could never escape those grasps. And that is the time when you should ask yourself: if giving a second chance to others is possible, why can't I give it to myself?

Let's create it!

We all are just looking for one thing. Happiness. A feeling that could be seen when someone smiles or pounces upon the sudden road of laughter. Happiness is something which we can't have with us all the time. Because it's not a gift that one receives in his/her birthday or buys at a store which carries a '50% discount off'  board on it's main door. It is a feeling, a feeling that makes one feel that he could fly and would not fall because happiness is never alone. It enters within our hearts with it's counterparts like confidence, encouraging us to hold on a bit more and fulfill all of our passions, the ones waiting to be discovered by us.

But as I said before, it is not conquerable. It has to be created. Created and maintained. Maintained with so much of willpower and determination that it endures, so much so that it greets the ones around us. It is so powerful. Yet so fragile. A simple scowl or frown could break it, make it completely disappear and then we wonder 'how to be happy again?'

Life is messy. It is never crystal clear or simple to be easily understood. A single motivational word or a genuine smile could possibly cure the broken feeling and let this be told, no matter how much ever hard it may seem for the feeling to trust its fragile feet again, it rises and gradually rises so high that we get the sudden thought to pedal the colour-worn bicycle again.

How far do we pedal depends upon how often we listen to those tantrums and sneers, which are sadly manufactured by us. But if we don't want it to die, we have to fight. Stand firm and fight until the sneers and tantrums merely sound like an echo. Stand firm and fight until we are very sure that there is no obstacle between us and our colour-worn bicycles.
Our urge to not give up and fight could turn our faded bicycles colourful once again, because we allowed the powerful to rise again.

So the purpose behind our existence is actually very clear. If not, have you cleansed your eyes to get rid of the poking dirt that has blurred your vision for so long?

Becoming a writer again.

Hello everyone! It's been a long time since I updated my blog. To be very honest, today I don't have a specific topic to write about. Last two months were harsh and therefore I couldn't bring myself to type down black inked words on this blank page, which, I am doing now. Yet I am typing down whatever my mind commands me to type because this is how things begin. Right now I have no idea where my life is taking me. Like any other normal teenager, I am confused and when I try to break down the confusion, I get more confused. I feel it's completely okay. After all life is never perfect, it is just messy and in the midst of all confusion, there are certain moments when we feel 'yes! finally things are under control!' and then again after a while, you feel you have lost control again.

So just don't stop working. Don't stop hoping. I am writing this because I know there is a writer in me, who, for some time, left my company. It's okay. I have to try. Because only when we continue trying, we tend to get back on track.

The battle of choices

Remember those frustrated moments of your life when anger swells up in your chest, after hearing someone criticising your most favourite celebrity? This anger is actually the 'twin' of the one caused when someone criticises your work or tries to demotivate you. Our likes and dislikes possess an indestructible kowtow towards its master which is our 'ego'.  Therefore the ones who have similar tastes like ours are those whom we adore and we definitely pass on a dirty look to those who challenge our tastes. Even when the celebrity you admire is not related to you in any way! 

It takes a great amount of patience to accept other people's choices especially when your choices and theirs are poles apart. Choices bind people and they could create bridges as well. There are times when we tend to mould our choices just to 'fit in' and to gain desirable approval from our friends. Isn't it funny that we constantly want others to approve and adhere to our choices? If disapproval confronts you, you either respond to the person by saying, "there is no use explaining it to you" or you look critically at yourself, through the eyes of the person lending out disapproval.

In such situations when one looks critically at oneself, it implies that the other person successfully struck a bow to make his partner feel that something is wrong with him. But when the partner is smart enough to utter statements like "there is no use explaining it to you", the other one feels offended as it hurt his/ her ''ego".  Gosh! Is this what we are doing to ourselves and to others? 

What I strongly feel is that my choices don't define me. They are nothing but the thoughts created by the hands of experience which inevitably changes. So why take them so seriously? Why try to prove yourself so much in front of a person having a contradictory view, even when your choice could be the result of someone else's influence? So if that is the case, then is your choice really " yours"? Or is it just passed on to you just as culture is transmitted from generation to generation? 

Our likes and choices need not always be in tune with those of others. Rather it is beautiful to be unique and it is not that bad to be the black sheep of the family ;). But let's not be so engrossed with our own that we fail to understand those of others. After all, we are infinite beings. It's just the rigidity of thoughts that tries to nullify this magnificent quality.

The hide and seek

We only value the light if we have seen the darkness. There comes a phase in our lives when worry and doubts become our sole companions. They follow us like shadows and life seems to be so colourless and irksome. You feel as if your journey has come to a standstill and there is no vision of a road ahead. That's the time where one feels drained out of ideas and definitely stressed out. 

If you are finding yourself in such kind of trouble, then it's time to reflect and not to overburden yourself. The first step is to accept that there is a problem. The problem maybe existing in your surrounding or sometimes it is created by yourself. We create problems for ourselves by worrying unnecessarily about certain matters. I have experienced this to the fullest and it's a terrible feeling when the first emotion that emerges after waking up in the morning is anxiety. 

If your problem is internal in nature created through excess of anxiety, then the time has come to do little interrogation with yourself. Whether it's the fear of drowning as you learn to swim or the fear of failing in a particular task, just ask yourself one simple question: will my journey end if my worst fear becomes successful enough in shaping itself as a reality? What would be the most possible harm it could inflict upon me? Asking oneself such questions would be a boon in curbing anxiety to some extent.

Problems devised by ourselves could be controlled by handling our thoughts with a new perspective. But there are certain issues which seem to go out of control and so a belief that 'this may also pass' lends you with an assurance of a better future. We only value the light if we have seen the darkness. Lessons are learned and tactics are imbibed during these dark times. If we follow them, we will find the light which enjoys playing hide and seek with us. Hence such phases hold their own significant position in our journeys, as we march towards our dreams and destinies.