'Hurt' is unfathomable. Though it acts as a storm that could hit the city (life) anytime, it is something which makes us panicky, depressed and compels us to change our entire perspective about life. We all are afraid to get hurt. We are on cloud nine if things go in the way we want them to and when they don't agree with our dreams, we are badly hurt. Once we recover from the bitterness of gloomy days, we build a wall around ourselves that could prevent us from getting hurt in the near future. But however tall or strong the wall is, it is vulnerable in front of nature.
Now the question that comes in is:
Why do we get hurt?
The answer which I received by reading one philosophical book doesn't match with being 'dumped' or 'cheated'. It goes far beyond such common reasons. Each one of us has created a mental image about ourselves. This image is considered superior and perfect by the respective person who holds it.
Now this is very simple. I feel that my opinions and views are much better than the person sitting next to me. This same notion can come to you and millions of humans living across the globe. This self-concept has created divisions among people for instance: 'I am a communist and you are a non-communist!' which has merged disharmony into the day to day activities of the people.
Now just imagine the day on which you had a fight with your loved one. You and the other individual carry in the minds the imagined 'self-concepts' that makes the letter 'I' come into the picture. Now this 'I' is the ego. This small tiny alphabet can make you feel you are on the right track and the other on the opposite one, that pushes you to persuade the individual to behave in a way which is convenient to you. The other also possesses your same wish but it's content is altered as per his self-concept, making both of you feel hurt at the same time.
The 'I' or 'me' has created a lot of limitations. It is happy when it meets people who are ready to walk on the path of it's own illusions and fantasies. But when the 'I' is criticised, it is hurt. Well it is indeed necessary to draw a line when the time comes to protect one's self-respect and dignity. But projecting your self-image as the 'perfect' one and nurturing expectations that others would behave in a way which is correct according to you, is also not a good idea.
The thoughts that come to me could also come to you. If we started communicating by bearing this idea in our heads, won't we consider each other as equals? This could make our conversations more clear and open, discarding all the illusions that makes us feel that we know everything. It can also help in exploring the depths of pain and forbidding us to build up those walls that prevents us from leading a fearless life.
I admire the quote of Mevlana Jelaluddin Rumi:
Outside, beyond what is right and wrong, there exists a vast field.
We will find each other there.
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